Sunday, September 14, 2008


Might be getting a mountain bike today....on loan or free. It needs tired but the dude is about my height so that will be cool..

Got in 6 miles of running, 3 of power walking and some tri/back weights. total time 2:10 and about 1250 calories down!

I'm going to have to hit the workouts harder if my thyroid is fucked up, at least til it regulates with meds.

I must learn to accept myself at a heavier weight..this is the hardest lesson for me. I know I'm much more than a scale number, a dress size or a modeling gig. Sometimes its just so hard to see beyond the low moments...

I CAN do this though..I can learn acceptance of myself. I must....

Just had to speak my thoughts no matter how fucked up they sound to "normal" people(like you). :)



Digits said...

Not that I'm laughing at you- I'm just laughing cause learning to accept myself is a day by day thing-
You'll find your balance :)

Trojan said...

ya know...I reread my post and have to laugh too. One day up and the next down...oh I just might be PMS'ing too....


BTExpress said...

Babs, Babs, Babs, ***shakes head***. Three words.... "Naked Sushi Model". That says volumes about how you look.

Digits said...

You know... I don't know I've ever met anyone "normal"
Let me know if you do :)

Hayley said...

I have to agree with BTE on this one!!! I don't like seeing MYSELF naked when there's no one else around...let alone having my body covered in only sushi. You have nothing to worry about! I know..easier said than done.

1250 calories BURNED!? Holy $%#*!*$$(#!!!!!!!

Lulu said...

Sweeeet on getting a bike. Let me know when. Coop and I will meet you on the H&B one day after work :)

Brit-Man said...

Not sure about the Loan or Free, why possibly the Loan and not free, would there be a possible scenario where the owner still needed it? Just curious.

Excuse my getting philosophical here won't you :-p, but some would say, as has already been said, normal is a non-existant concept, because people are too unique.

However normal is what someone wants it to be. Does someone with Dwarfism only feel normal around other Dwarf people?

Is a drug addict normal when they're taking drugs with others?

Is someone with a chronic illness, or an amputated limb, normal only when they are at some support group, or club of some kind?

Or do all such people, whether you despise or accept them, (based on what sort of person they are), class as normal based on their common occurance in society.

If they do, can you then say someone with an illness, affecting one in a million, becomes abnormal, because they aren't common in society, owing to their illness affecting 1 in a million, not one in a thousand?

Some might say, for others to live with a Chronic illness, and live almost like they haven't got one, makes them more than normal, it makes them special, or would such people say they are just normal, but perhaps a little less normal than most, or a differnt kind of normal.

Some would argue, being gay Lesbian, or being in love with your Cousin, (I'm none of those), aren't normal, I'd say yes, even for people in the latter of the 3.

In that instance love isn't a crime, you're not in love with a man on death row, just your cousin, and those who couldn't agree with the individuals in question, could be seen, (by said individuals), as needing to get over it, and ignore it, rather than whining about it,

Unfortunately if you use the rationale of "common", then technically you could say, people with an unhealthy obsession with children, who commit disturbing acts, and download child images, are "normal", because it's more common than ever these days.

What you have to decide for yourself, is not what constitutes normal for others, it's what constitutes normal for you.

In this circumstance, (where you look like a beautiful, healthy lady, with a fairly overall nice life, but a slight Thyroid issue), does that courage to cope with it, make you more than normal, (potentially special), still normal, or slightly abnormal?

Personally I think in certain circumstances except the seedy instance involving children, described above, pretty much anything can be classed as normal, whther you often see it or hear about it, or you don't.

It's just a case of the individuals take on themselves, and the person making hopefully a liberal and sensible choice, on what things in society are worth being described as normal, and what should be called wrong.

As far as I'm concerned you will ALWAYS be normal to me. You do some strange things (from your creative and proffessional work), I have never heard of before, but I know it's not seedy, it's you expressing yourself artistically.

I think I understand it, I respect it, and you, and I think Thyroid issue or not, you ARE normal to me, and what you have at the moment, makes you no different to me in my eyes. We're both equals. We have differing lifes, backgrounds, tastes, and differing thoughts sometimes, but we're equals, and you'll be as normal to me, as most people are.

Normal is either a tag to call the majority, that's actually a non-existant state of being, or it's all around us. It's surely one of the two.

It's really ultimately and most importantly, what you are to yourself, and what you feel about you as an expression of normal.

It might sometiems challange you, but it will make you wiser and stonger, and it's a good thing, so be normal, or whatever you think you are, and don't be afraid of it ever, just accept it, and try to be as close to the person as possible, that you've been for a long time.

You're normal, but also amazing too, and a bit speical. It's worth a lot, and no condition of any kind, can take that from you.

Put artistically for someone of artistic merits, that smile of yours is worth a thousand sunsets, and if you're normal then be proud of it, because I'm proud of knowing people like you.

Best wishes and have a great day.

:-) :-).


Trojan said...

Crap..i have to go cry now

BTExpress said...

Why do you have to cry?