Thursday, May 24, 2007

Oy Health Drama

Had a talk with my step-dad via phone last night and here is the run down.

He has another blockage but they are done with surgery for him, period. Honestly, they never thought that he would live this long....but here he is. His aneurysm hasn't grown which is good and his diabetes seems to be somewhat under control. Yep, he has a few health issues.

All this plus his being about 30 lbs overweight...sigh*, it's not the perfect scenario.

We have our differences, he drives me fucking nuts and makes me scream BUT he is my dad and I love him. I know he is on borrowed time, probably won't be around in a couple years...or less. My Grandma is still kicking but will probably never get off support or out of bed....she is 95.

I worry about them, the future,myself and holding it all together. Losing my Mom was devastating but it's all kept inside, I rarely think about that loss or cry. Any stress or pain is taken to the gym on a daily basis with the hope of leaving it there, course you can't out cardio inner turmoil. Some days I understand and some days I am so angry at everything....

This Sat is my niece's B-Day and I look forward to seeing the family on a good note. This ominous cloud over my head needs to leave for a day or two.....I need to breathe.

Yep, these are the days when a person could plow through a couple bottles of wine..Mmmmmm that would be nice. Nice but counter productive and escapism through alcohol...I am stronger than that.



Denise said...

I am sorry that he is not doing well. I hope that some of your healthy eating and exercise will rub off on him. Try to enjoy the time that youhave with him. It is hard when the other person drives you nuts. If you need a girls night with a bottle of wine, let me know.

Trojan said...

Thanks Denise....I refuse to let inner weakness sabatage my fitness goals but i might need a girls coffee/sushi night. I really appreciate your support:)

Laurie said...

I'm so sorry, worrying about the health and well-being of your loved ones is tough - but you are stronger than to let it jeopardize your own health and that's fantastic.

I do disagree, however, when you said "Losing my Mom was devastating but it's all kept inside, I rarely think about that loss or cry." - I think you have have channeled it into something very healthy and rather than let it get you down it put you on a mission. Now that's making lemondaide, I would think your mom would be proud.

Kim said...

Hey girl. There are people in our lives that bring both pain and joy and we feel them both and understand that's life, love, and humanity. We are part of those we came from and we are that which we make ourselves. You know this and that's why you're able to care deeply and love your step-dad despite his shortcomings. You're rolling with the punches and that's all anyone can do in this journey.

BH said...

You know I'm here and understand babe.