Had a talk with my step-dad via phone last night and here is the run down.
He has another blockage but they are done with surgery for him, period. Honestly, they never thought that he would live this long....but here he is. His aneurysm hasn't grown which is good and his diabetes seems to be somewhat under control. Yep, he has a few health issues.
All this plus his being about 30 lbs overweight...sigh*, it's not the perfect scenario.
We have our differences, he drives me fucking nuts and makes me scream BUT he is my dad and I love him. I know he is on borrowed time, probably won't be around in a couple years...or less. My Grandma is still kicking but will probably never get off support or out of bed....she is 95.
I worry about them, the future,myself and holding it all together. Losing my Mom was devastating but it's all kept inside, I rarely think about that loss or cry. Any stress or pain is taken to the gym on a daily basis with the hope of leaving it there, course you can't out cardio inner turmoil. Some days I understand and some days I am so angry at everything....
This Sat is my niece's B-Day and I look forward to seeing the family on a good note. This ominous cloud over my head needs to leave for a day or two.....I need to breathe.
Yep, these are the days when a person could plow through a couple bottles of wine..Mmmmmm that would be nice. Nice but counter productive and escapism through alcohol...I am stronger than that.